The Meta Post

I have to say, I enjoy blogging. I feel like I have to have something interesting to write in order to post and I can't really go on an on about all the people in my life the way you can in a private journal. I also have some taboos regarding writing about my intimate life and things that go on at work - which is always a big no no. But these are certainly things one might have read in a bedside journal of mine from the far past. My journal was where I bitched about life's problems and talked through my fears of inadequacy at being a mother, or the latest hot gossip at work that you can't tell anyone, or any number of strange private thoughts that flit to the surface when your pen is scratching across a tablet on your knees. That's where blogging draws the line. For me it has a filter and a grammar check. I know there are blogs all over the world where people spill their guts and most private secrets - but those people usually live to regret that decision. I have a teenage daughter who may read this and a boyfriend who subscribes to it and a job and a family and, well, generally, an appearance to keep up.

Besides the content there's also the part about how it gets me writing. I wish I had more time to blog but really I wish I had more time to write. I like organizing my thoughts into coherent sentences and deciding on whether or not to include a visual to help with what I'm describing. I like drafting and structuring what I'm trying to convey.

And of course, beyond the content and the structure, conveyance begs the question of "to whom?" So there is the 'reader.' The fact that your words are virtually published for the world at large. I post my theses to the door. My press release on life, gone to print, as it were. I've learned that you can keep in touch with people via blogging. If I read someone's blog I get an idea of what's going on with them, what they are working on, if anything. Not a lot of posting means either nothing is going on; or so much is going on that I can't write now and the reader will find out all about it later, maybe, if that's what I decide to write about. There's the third option that what ever is going on is of the taboo ilk.

[whisper]shhhhh non-postable.[/whisper]

So, yes. Keeping in touch via blogging. Once I was fortunate enough to participate in a survey Google sent out and I thought, Oh Perfect! I LOVE that they asked ME what I think because I'm Google's biggest fan! I couldn't wait to get through the seven pages or so of yes/no check boxes and drop down menus to the text box so I could really sing their praises. However, I remember one of the questions that was asked was something like:

I keep in touch with the majority of my circle of contacts by (number the following in order of 1=most often used and 6=least)
_ telephone
_ in person conversation
_ e-mail
_ chat
_ blogging
_ post service

Now, earlier they had asked the surveyed to define their circle of contacts in terms of how many people they communicated with in a given week including people at work, people at home, people you only know over the internet, etc. So I had to come up with a number and then offer a percentage breakdown of what category the contacts fell into. So anyway that made it an interesting question because of the work people. There are people I work with who I communicate with every given week who I have never even met but I e-mail back and forth to them because they are my contact for that particular thing. So I had to choose e-mail as the most frequently used method of communication. But at the time I took the survey I chose blogging as the least used and even privately snorted that "who 'keeps in touch with their friends' by BLOGGING? That's such a one-sided conversation." But I get it now. I understand that you can keep up with people by reading their blog. I subscribe to my friends' and family's blogs (if they keep them and I know about it) and if I'm posting about my life on my blog and you want to know what's going on, well, it's kind of your responsibility to read up on my life if I'm publishing it for all the world to read. Conversely, I really enjoy reading my friends' blogs to keep in touch with them. It resembles asynchronous learning, or the theory of Piaget's regarding the ability to learn when the learner actively seeks the knowledge rather than passively accepting whatever is being taught. It places the onus of responsibility on me to read the blogs of my circle. So I accept that responsibility and in turn publish my own for you.

So read on..
LOVE

This Crazy Life

Colin has come home from summer camp. After dropping him off last weekend, Chris and I were a little despondent from his absence and hopeful that he was having a wonderful time. We needn't have worried at all because within a day we could see photos of the campers and keep up with what activities they were involved in every day of the camp. Colin's smiling face showed up in every photo set and he had a blast. He wants to go back next year so that's the plan.

Something weird is going on at work and it's had me twisted up in knots all weekend. I don't really want to voice my fears as they are likely irrational and unfounded and I think I'll find out what it is that is going on on Wednesday because there's a special meeting on Wednesday that I have to announce tomorrow morning to everyone. I've been trying to not think about it so that all the gruesome possibilities that spring to mind will subside until I find out for sure what is happening in our division. I'll post again to follow up on that later this week.

Chris and I got the first light bill for the new rent house yesterday and were astonished and horrified. $349. That's more than my car payment. I had a feeling it would be bad like that with all the windows in this house. We plan to build frames for them and stretch some fabric around them to shade the windows for the remainder of the time we live here.

We also found out that our back yard turns into a 6-inch deep swamp when it rains. We hadn't experienced a big rain yet until this weekend and the yard was a huge disappointment. I certainly hope it doesn't rain for the 4th of July because that's the date of our big party. We are having a lot of people over - I believe about 18 people (not including those who live here.) The menu for that day includes frisbee golf for early arrivals, swimming for all in the community pool, grilling and Street View fajitas, watermelon, all the beer we can drink, sangria, and fireworks over Clear Lake. It should be fun.

On the way home from Trinity, TX after dropping Colin off at camp we decided to stop to see the scenic overlook of the Lake Livingston Dam. We were directed by this sign which pointed the way to the Dam Liquor Store. We found that the Dam Liquor Store was a tiny little hole in the wall place with a great name. Way to go Dam Liquor Store. And nice sign.










Here is the scenic overlook of the Livingston Dam. It was pretty. I expected to see something more lengthy and enormous sort of like the Hoover Dam that we would get to cross or something like that. But no. It was really just a beautiful day and a view of the lake.








Also on the way home, once we got back to Houston, we passed this truck full of wrestlers on the freeway. They were more than happy to demonstrate their wrestling skills once they knew they were on camera but this is the best shot of all of them with their masks on. Que rico - as they say. It doesn't get richer than that.

Shaken; not stirred.

When we went to the dinner theater to watch Zohan the other night they had martini's on sale for $5 in honor of the, also running, Sex in the City movie. So Chris and I took advantage. It has crossed our minds that a fraction of the entertainment of the Zohan movie may have been a direct result of the 3 delicious martini's we each had - dirty gin w/ 2 olives for Chris; sour apple w/ 2 cherries for me. But the thought was immediately dismissed. Anyway it put us in the mood for martini's and we've been wanting another ever since.

On Friday on my way home from work I stopped at both the liquor store (for vermouth & cherries) and the grocery store (for olives) so that I could make home made martinis. I had, of course, looked up on the internet the recipe for Chris's kind of martini - gin, which we had, vermouth, which I needed, olives, which I needed, and a twist of lime, skipped this step. We had apple flavored vodka so I assumed all I needed was cherries for mine. I measured everything into the glasses and served them up. YUCK!

So Chris said, "eeh. mmm. uuhh. this is almost good but it just needs two things." My first guess was right on the money - "It needs to be cold." Bingo. He said it also needed olive juice (cuz he likes it dirty!) Secondly it needed to be more mixed. So he brings the drinks into the kitchen and asked where was the shaker.

The shaker!! Duh! how was I supposed to know? "I didn't use a shaker." I replied in my most innocent voice.

But now, 1 day later, I have perfected the Dirty Gin Martini. And it is good!

Long ago, maybe 20 years ago or so, I was a freshman in college and we had a little party. Someone, and I have to say I believe it was Miwa, bought a bottle of Gin. None of us knew what to do with gin. What 18 year old does? At that young and dumb age, and back in the late 80's, we mixed barcardi with coca cola or drank strawberry wine. Well, let me tell you that gin doesn't mix well with coke and the first to go down was Miwa. I don't know if it had anything to do with Miwa getting sick or not but I got sick too. Sick like you wouldn't believe. Sick like I'm not going to describe for you at all. My stomach was so turned, in fact, that I have not touched gin since. Not ONCE. Until yesterday.

Yesterday, 20 years after the great-awful-gin-experience of 1989, I made dirty gin martini after dirty gin martini. One for Chris, one for me, one for Chris, one for me. They got better and better. Not because I was getting drunk but because I was actually getting better at it. Tonight I made two martini's for Chris and I and it is the most delicious martini I've ever had!

So as I sign out of this post I raise this martini glass to Carmen, who for the last 20 years or so has been trying to convince me to have a martini with her to which I have always flatly refused opting instead for beer or hell even water, anything other than gin, "I don't do gin"; who this week turned a new age to catch up to my own age; for all the missed olives of the past and looking forward to all the olives of the future; who always toasts every toast with every drink "To us"; to Carmen.

Mostly the Eddie Izzard Show

So much has gone on since my last posting it's hard to know where to begin. So I'll start at NOW and work my way backwards.

It is an absolutely GORGEOUS day here on the island. I'm looking at this day out my window and wishing I were anywhere other than at work. So I decided to blog - I'm having lunch now so it's my time anyways. Free lunch too - grilled chicken and veggies w/ salad and a chunk of garlic bread. Yummy!

Last night Chris and I joined Matt & Julie for the Eddie Izzard show. He was so funny that I wanted him to stop. It actually hurts to laugh non-stop for over an hour. I felt as if I couldn't go on laughing any longer. I loved that he threw in some politics and endorsed Barak Obama. He's Brittish and let us know that if we elected Obama we would be welcomed throughout the rest of the world. He assured us that when traveling abroad we would no longer have to pretend we're Canadian. Izzard's set reminded me a lot of Bill Bryson's book, A Brief History of Nearly Everything - and I believe he mentioned it at some point in his show too. Both the Izzard comedy set and the Bryson book attempt to focus perspective on how we got to this point in our evolutionary history and both were poignantly funny. I especially didn't know that all the ancient Egyptians were killed in a car crash. How tragic is that?

Also yesterday, my dearest and longest standing friend's birthday - Happy Birthday Carmen!! I WILL get your care package in the mail. Wish for all things Texas and they shall be in the box. Come back to Texas. Texas misses you. Rhode Islanders don't know what tortillas are!

So prior to Tuesday... Let's see, over the weekend on Sunday night we took Colin to his grandparents for a week long camping trip. We saw the movie You Don't Mess with the Zohan - comic gold! Think Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life getting it on with Adam Sandler playing an Israeli counter-terrorist turned hair-dresser who's nemesis is John Turturro, of The Big Lebowski; and who is being outed by Rob Schneider for stealing his favorite goat years before. We also watched Made of Honor - Chelsea's choice and a chick flick if there ever was one. Chris survived, thank God! On Sunday we also played a round of disc golf.

Oh Chris recently erected our disc golf goal in the back yard and we've been practicing. I seem to be getting no better what-so-ever while Chris is continually improving his short game. The other day I threw a frisbee and it landed in our back neighbor's yard. We walked the block over to knock on their door. A car was in the drive but no answer. As soon as we approached the door a light snapped on and we noticed a little camera eye on top of the door frame. It was very strange and gave both of us the creeps. We didn't get the frisbee back till the next day when in the daylight Chris went into the back yard because no one ever did answer the door. Weird. (Otherwise we LOVE all our neighbors! The people on OUR street are totally cool!)

The Great Merger

As you might know, Chris and I just moved in together. I have had a lot of time off work recently, which was needed in and of itself, but it's also helped to make the move go smoother. We still have to finish up cleaning out the old place to get the deposit back (hopefully) and we have until tomorrow. I should be over there right now but I'm too excited to a) have had the cable guy install internet here this morning, & b) actually have some internet TIME while not at work or on a schedule. :)

It's so interesting to merge two houses full of furniture and belongings together. I feel like I suddenly have a huge DVD library. Chris found several old photo albums of his that I got to look through and relive this little piece of him and his family that I had never seen. I showed Chris the first lock of Chelsea's hair that I cut off in her first hair cut and the red plastic welfare card I had 17 years ago when I first applied for AFDC with a new baby and no job or insurance on her. There are so many fractions of our lives held within the things in our closets and garages under that which we use more frequently

Part of me (the part who's mother is a pack rat of the worst kind - sorry mom but you know it's true) wants to purge everything! Simplify, simplify, simplify! That part wants to rid the house of all that is unnecessary. If it doesn't fall within the two categories of Form or Function then why keep it around?

I think on some level it's clinging to the past. Some of it is obligation. Maybe to foster a sense of personal history or to look back and remember. When I was cleaning out my closet there against the wall was a little white dress with long sashes and beaded smocking on the chest. It wouldn't fit anyone I know but it's not only a dress that was hand made by my aunt Becky for her daughter, it's the dress Chelsea received her first communion in. Do I toss it in the goodwill pile to satisfy my sense of order and simplicity? What am I keeping it for anyway? Why do I have a 12 year old lock of my daughter's hair, or and unfinished quilt that my grandmother was making for me before she died, or a heavy box full of crystals my family and I "mined" at the crystal mine in Hot Springs Arkansas during the family reunion in 2003. What would I run into a fire to save if the place was burning down? Nothing. It's all just stuff that I box up and move with me every time I move. And every once in a while I can show these things to someone who doesn't know their history or their value and get a little fraction of my past back for a second, just to share that part of myself, my belongings.

So our walls will be covered in pictures of our family to tell our stories. That and James Bond movie poster prints (which I secretly kinda love the idea of.) We'll have two tv's that we don't know what to do with, two cork screws and cutting boards and sets of dishes and tea kettles and spice racks and dresser drawers and desks and couches and old photos and dogs. (Fortunately Honey and Stretch love each other and get along well.) We'll have to sift through the stuff, the belongings, to decide what belongs and what does not. We have to determine the value of our things and explain the value to each other hopeful that they'll see the value too.

There will be a lot we can sell. Our beautiful empty new garage where we parked for about a day is already starting to fill up and only one car can park there now. And we have only scratched the surface of Chris's house. We've given ourselves the summer to have his house empty, decide on a house plan and have a builder hired for the project. That's really not that much time sitting here on May 30th. I'm really not one for keeping a whole lot but I do have things I can and will get rid of. I just had to be out of my apartment and theres some stuff I would like to see if I can sell or if my family might want.

As I sit here with boxes piled up around me and the knowledge that more boxes will be arriving daily until the Wildwood house is empty I have to admit a sense of satisfaction. It takes a huge amount of effort to hoist all your belongings onto your back and move them to a new location. In the unpacking will come more of decisions about what to keep, surprises about what's actually there that had been long forgotten, and memories of our lives-past to share with each other.
So on that note I make my promise not to question or judge any of the belongings to cross the threshold of the merged house and to keep myself open to learning what has value to Chris and add that to the combined value of us as a couple.

LOVE

checking in

This is just a post because I happen to have a few moments in front of a computer with internet access! I won't have long so this post will be short. Chris and I are officially moving in together this weekend and we've been packing like crazy. We have one day left before the movers get here - that's tomorrow. I'm thinking of calling for help on that one. Chris has been amazing. He single-handedly disassembled and loaded up his & Colin's beds from his house yesterday. This morning he packed Colin's legos and his massive - 6 boxes - DVD collection; plus cleaned out his fridge of everything - it's ready to go. While he did that I packed my whole desk except for the computer, plus all the towels & linens, completed the majority of the laundry, finished packing my bathroom, threw out two more bags of trash, and a few more boxes of stuff from the bedroom. My living room is now more boxes than anything else and we'll probably clear out this dining area next for piling boxes tomorrow. Then Tuesday the movers come but Chris has to work. I also have to get an appointment to switch our internet/cable service to the new place so once we move, unless I'm at work, we won't have the internet at home.

The new place it so great though! Since we had the beds there we spent last night at the new place and it was great to wake up this morning in the new rent house with Chris. Also, in the middle of the day we took a break and went to our new neighborhood pool. It was very cool! Lots of kids. Chelsea and Colin will love it there. In fact, I had the thought today that once we have the new house built we might actually miss the neighborhoody feel of the rent house. Our street ends at a trail along a green space and you walk 3 blocks to the park and pool. We've walked that trail every day since Friday when we got the key after the gas man showed up (not till 3:30! tho). So it's exciting and exhausting all at the same time.

I'll post up some pictures soon. Chelsea's spent the last two weekends away - last weekend was her twin friends' birthday party for the weekend and this weekend is her annual get-a-way with the Williams'. She comes home tomorrow and she's going to help pack! It sure would have been nice to have her this weekend just for her babysitting skills because Chris and I have had to have Colin with us the whole time and save room for him in loading our cars with stuff every trip. Yes, we're getting movers but there's some stuff we've taken already. Also, the movers are mostly for clearing out my place because my lease ends and the only things they are getting from Chris's are the washer, dryer, & fridge - unless we have more stuff ready. But we plan to use my living room stuff, Chris's bedroom stuff, obviously we'll need both Chelsea's stuff from here and Colin's stuff from Chris's. Anyway, we've taken several loads over to the new house already. Okay I realize I'm babbling at this point. And we need to leave. It's after 11 and we're sleeping at the new place so we have to go there. I'll be back here tomorrow morning.

Take care all
LOVE

Tidbits since the Weekend

It's been a sleepy week and busier at work than I've ever been there. I've worked overtime (read comp time) every day in the pay period that ended today. Which is okay because I need the last week of May off for the move so I can use up a fraction of my accrued comp time. I think I have 70 hours last time I looked. And I've even stopped counting the times I work through lunch. I'm now accruing comp time on top of working through lunch and it's still not all getting done. Also, just yesterday, my new boss told me that he's not going to approve hiring a new secretary even though the department already approved it and we can easily justify the need based on the volume of people my staff supports. Everyone is overwhelmed and we're not going to get any support from this administration. I'm sad about my job because I used to like it so much. I liked driving to the island and I liked the people I worked with. Now, there's a new hierarchy being established with an unprofessional woman who holds a personal grudge against me and one of my employees. The politics that ensue are driving me to reconsider my place of employment yet again and I feel like I just got there. Some of this is driven by the massive number of deadlines that have all hit at once and I'm hoping things calm down as we move into June. So, this week at work, sucked.

However, this week NON-work was a fabulous contrast to that. Except for the fact that we've gone out 4 times this week - including tonight. On Wednesday night we were up til about 2:30 AM and up past midnight every other day.

We are just starting to pack some stuff. I keep freaking out that we're not nearly ready enough and that we're not gonna be packed in time. To which Chris continually replies, Yes we are! I can pack like a packing fiend. I'm only cautiously optimistic that this will be an eventuality. Tomorrow we're going to get boxes in the morning after getting the cars cleaned out and an oil change.

Dawn called yesterday and she and Jim were chosen by a birthmother who is having a little girl in August. The birthmother is 22 and a red-head. She chose them because of James' red hair. Also, she is apparently adopted and thought that Dawn looked like pictures of her own birthmother. Dawn said she and Jim are very excited. That Jim can't keep the grin off his face that he's going to be the daddy of a little girl. That it's all been totally worth the wait. That it's like all her dreams came true and her prayers were answered.
I'm sure.

On Tuesday night, Chelsea had a date with David. He took her to his band banquet at the Hilton on Clear Lake. You know, the one where that crazy lady ran over her cheatin' husband after catching him with the other woman, and then backed back over his body after running him down the first time with their daughter in the SUV. That one.
Anyways, she looked absolutely beautiful as you can tell from the picture. I'm attaching two. One is of Chelsea and Colin - he thought she should stand under this flower bush but then stood in the shot with her which is cool.

The second one is Chelsea with her boyfriend David, who seems like a nice enough kid. He's smart and good conversation. He seems to like Chelsea well enough so that's cool.



This was our appetizer at Sushi Coast tonight. And I regret not snapping a photo of the actual entrees we ordered because they arrived with such presentation it was tantalizing but at that point I had chop sticks in hand and no time for cameras. What a delight a night out for sushi is for me and Chris. I'm so deliciously full. This appetizer is called Sushi Coast Nachos and included "magic spinach" in the middle. Each piece had some magic spinach inside as well. They were tunas wrapped around spinach and encrusted with crunchy goodness and topped with spicy goodness so that in the end each one was full of goodness.
So that's it for now. I'm going to be in packing and moving mode for the next two weeks. Please forgive any one-track-mindedness this blog may take on. That or my absence.

LOVE